


let go of a prayer for you

by redmaynes



Category: Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Frat Boy Andrew, Frat boy Ryan, M/M, Underage Drinking, fraternities
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 23:32:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14779370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redmaynes/pseuds/redmaynes
Summary: Steven never thought he'd be hanging around these kinds of people, who were arguably way cooler and better than him, but life was always able to throw him for a loop.He just hoped that this wasn't going to be something that would slip through his hands, like a dream so perfect it turned cruel the moment he woke up and realized it was never true in the first place.And even though he tried to ignore it, that was how he felt about Andrew, too.





	let go of a prayer for you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ftwnhgn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ftwnhgn/gifts).



> this one is for al [@moonmccoy](https://moonmccoy.tumblr.com/) who nudged me into bringing this into fruition
> 
> title from a frank ocean song that i think fits standrew so good it hurts
> 
> enjoy

This was totally not his scene. 

As he surveyed the hubbub in front of him, Steven clutched his drink— the fruit punch that was ladled out from a gargantuan crystal bowl in the foyer— even tighter, and silently prayed that he was going to make it out to get to class the next morning. He’d heard one too many nightmare party stories from his friends in _high school_ , he didn’t want to see what went down in college parties when things got a little too loud and ugly.

It was funny how, just over an hour ago, he griped to himself that he was probably going to end up stuck in a corner surveying everyone else having fun, and that was exactly what happened.

But he couldn’t bring himself to approach anyone to talk. 

_It’s the music_ , he deducted. _It’s way too loud so no one’s gonna be able to hear me anyway. And no one here’s interested in having a conversation while they’re trying to dance or hook up with other people._

Steven was surprised that he was even admitted into the party. He showed up with a couple of his peers from the chemistry class that got the vague invitation to join Alpha Psi Alpha in their fall mixer, and held his breath as a guy outside appraised them.

He didn’t look like the frat guys that Steven envisioned in his head: tall and tan, with blinding white grins. Instead, he had reddish hair, a pretty cool beard, and glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. He gave a once-over of all of them, attire and all— the theme was Nerds and Jocks, as was broadcasted by their invitee, so Steven came in a button-up and khakis, with his spare pair of glasses tucked into his collar. 

After a few seconds he nodded to them and made some marks on the clipboard he was holding, and stepped out of the way, and Steven blew out the breath he’d been holding.

Jack, one of his friends, turned back to him and nodded. “We’re gonna go mingle, okay? Text us if you need anything.” And with that he, Sophia, and Giao split up in the foyer, going different directions as they left behind Steven gawking at the interior of the frat house. It wasn’t anything out of the movies, but the house still held a regal kind of beauty, with its simple, elegant architecture. Steven politely accepted the Solo cup a girl in a sports jersey handed him, as she carefully poured ruby red punch to hand off to newcomers. She gave him a big smile, to which Steven gave a shy one in return, and he hurried off, drink in hand, following the thump of the bass, and ending up in the dimly lit living room, populated with drunk people of varying degrees, either dancing or talking or making out.

And that’s when Steven realized splitting up with the group wasn’t such a good idea after all. He didn’t have anything to do other than awkwardly stand near the stairs and bounce his foot along to the bass-heavy song that people in the middle of the room were grinding to. He took a sip of his drink, just to have something to do, and wrinkled his nose at the sharp, acidic taste. Someone probably put cranberry juice in it. 

He got antsy half an hour into standing there like a gawking idiot, feeling slightly lightheaded over time. He was seriously considering texting the group of his early departure, when he heard a muffled commotion upstairs, the thuds audible even over the music, and suddenly Steven heard a door swing open and the rowdy voices of assumedly the frat boys of the house increased in volume, their footsteps heavy as they ran down the stairs, door slamming shut behind them. 

“Go go go go go!” One of them excitedly yelled, and Steven whipped his head around just in time to see them scamper down the stairs.

“Scatter!” Another one hollered, and Steven deduced that maybe they were just messing around with each other and having fun during their party, and he was about to turn back when someone collided with him from behind, knocking his half-empty drink out of his hand. Steven was going to most likely faceplant into the questionable looking hardwood floor before a pair of strong hands caught his biceps and hauled him upright. Steven’s feet scrabbled for purchase on the ground before planting themselves firmly there, and he whirled around to see a worried looking guy staring at him, his chin tilted slightly to meet Steven’s gaze.

“Hey, sorry about that,” he said, hand raised up in front of himself as if to catch Steven if he toppled over again. “Didn’t look where I was going.”

“I—” He was a bit shaken after almost falling and then being yanked backward to avoid said falling situation, so Steven felt a bit tongue-tied. “I-it’s okay.”

The guy crookedly smiled up at him, and Steven distractedly noticed that he had a dimple in his left cheek. Was it possible for people to only have one dimple? Did this guy have a matching one, or was this his sole dimple? Steven opened his mouth to ask, but managed to stop himself before he said something stupid like, “Where’s your other dimple?”

“Oh shit,” the guy murmured, darting behind Steven to pick up the fallen cup, and shot back up, hurrying away with it. Steven could only dumbly stand there until he came back with a rag, and dropped it over the dark puddle on the floor. 

“There.” He turned back to Steven, taking off his baseball cap and carding his hand through his hair— he was blond, Steven noticed; it was visible even in the low light. With practiced ease, the guy flipped it backwards with a flick of his wrist and put it back on his head. “Wouldn’t want anyone to slip and fall.” He smiled again, and this time Steven could see a dimple in his other cheek, so his unspoken question was then answered. “Again, I apologize for that. I’m Andrew.” 

Steven hurried to take his offered hand. “S-Steven Lim.”

“Nice to meet you, Steven. Who invited you?”

It was merely a curious inquiry, but Steven couldn’t help but hear it otherwise: a thinly veiled accusation filled with contempt. _Who let you come? Why are you here?_

Shaking those irrational thoughts out of his head, he replied, “Uhh, someone in OCHEM mentioned it to the section I was sitting in. Reyna?”

“Oh yeah, she told us she was gonna ask some of her classes. Cool! I’m glad you could make it.”

Steven was about to respond to that when Andrew got whipped in the shoulder with what looked like a scarf.

“Ilnyckyj!” A tall dude towered over the both of them, scowling at Andrew. His hair was slicked back into a high pompadour that made him look even taller, and he was wearing a basketball jersey that showed off his muscular arms.

“Shit,” Andrew muttered, and turned to him. “I see you got out of your restraints.”

_Restraints?_ Steven blinked in surprise. 

“No _shit_ ,” he replied, throwing the scarf— yep, it was a scarf— in Andrew’s face, which Andrew caught before it could hit him. “I’m not responsible for returning all of this to the girls, because apparently _everyone_ but me took part in playing ‘Hog-Tie Ivan Like He Boutta Get Roasted By Sundown’. Who are you.”

Steven reeled back, because now Scowly-Face was now addressing him, which would’ve been less intimidating if he actually _asked_ the question instead of gritting it out like a death threat. “I— Steven?”

“Hi, I-Steven,” Ivan returned, holding up a fist, and Steven stared at it for a little too long before jerking his hand up to fist-bump him. “I’m I-van. Oh shut up, Ilnyckyj, that was a _golden_ pun opportunity. If I were you, I’d steer clear of this one.” He gestured over to Andrew, and flicked him in the forehead before Andrew could swat his hand away. “Real troublemaker.”

“He likes troublemakers, I’m sure,” Andrew drawled, glancing at Steven, who swallowed, not sure what to make of two guys who were obviously too cool for him actually _talking_ to him. Steven surreptitiously scanned behind them for cameras in case he was being pranked. Since middle school it’d been a habit of his: paranoia and past negative experiences had instilled him with a sense of distrust whenever anything slightly out of the ordinary was happening. 

Ivan snorted and clapped Steven on the shoulder, making him jump. “And I like analyzing least-squares regression lines for fun. Where are the others? I’m gonna whoop their asses for this. And make them apologize to the girls.”

“You don’t have to make them apologize, we took them from Peter’s room,” Andrew lazily interjected, and Ivan paused. 

“Well, in that case, I couldn’t care less,” he flatly said, and trudged off, as Andrew stifled a snicker, watching Ivan’s retreating back with amusement. 

“I’m gonna go off to see that he doesn’t pummel the others when he catches them,” Andrew said, and waved to Steven. “It was nice to meet you. Catch you around?”

With that he jogged off, before Steven could say anything, even as he held up a hand to wave him goodbye.

“Catch you around, Andrew,” he murmured to himself, and turned his attention back to the party. He still wasn’t having the time of his life, overlooking other people having their fun as he stayed back in the shadows, but something felt just a little different. He didn’t let himself dwell on it too much, but he allowed himself a small smile before taking out his phone and informing the group chat that he was leaving early.

He walked out of the door, as the bearded guy looked at him and nodded, and Steven offered a small half-wave and then stuck his hands in his pockets to walk back to his suite. It was way hotter and more humid in the house, so walking out into the crisp autumn air was a welcome surprise. The music slowly faded as he walked farther away from the scene, ears still ringing from the prolonged stay.

Shane wasn’t there when he got back to their suite, and Steven was secretly glad for that. Although his roommate was usually quiet, Steven didn’t feel like striking up a conversation or talking to anyone after the boisterous party. 

He went to the shared bathroom to get ready for bed, and later collapsed in his bed, sighing contentedly, pulling the covers over himself. 

His first college party experience— or rather, first party experience whatsoever— was kinda underwhelming, to say the least. He really didn’t get the appeal of getting drunk or dancing to deafening music. _But maybe it was different if you went with the right people_ , he thought. _Like Andrew. He seemed nice._

Steven checked the time— 11:07 pm— and turned over so he was facing the wall, closing his eyes. This was past his bedtime, and he needed to get as much sleep as possible before his 10 AM. 

He laughed to himself. There was a reason that he wasn’t able to have fun whenever he went out: he was always preoccupied with another thought or priority, unable to focus on anything else.

_Maybe it’s just in my DNA to not be able to let loose. Maybe I’m just destined to not be able to enjoy anything ‘cause I’m too much of a bore._

That thought stayed in his head until he finally fell asleep, weighing his head down even as he drifted off into unconsciousness.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos keep me goin (':
> 
> hmu [@bergarass](https://bergarass.tumblr.com/) on tumblr


End file.
